Before I had the chance to introduce the first apartment, we already have moved to a new one. I hope we/I don’t have to move again anytime soon because lugging your baggage from place to place is tiring.
The place we moved into is 4 stations away from work and 3 stations away from the old apartment. I honestly wasn’t excited to move because I already got attached to the family of the landlady of the old apartment. On the day of moving out, she actually told me that if I wanted to stay, I could. She was suggesting that I stay instead. But I already moved my things to the other apartment, and it’s not my call where I get to stay (I think, I didn’t try to ask because it was a choosy thing to do).
Away from malls and big supermarkets, this new neighborhood is a lot more peaceful and quiet. The whole area is dog-friendly, so it’s quite normal to see people walking their dogs. Lots of pets stores around as well. We have a McDonalds branch and an “ihawan” kind of food store right below the building. The “ihawan” sells spicy chicken chop huhu, such a win. And then right across the street is a big “rice store”. I don’t know what to call these places hahaha. It’s like a leveled up karinderia. There’s a small grocery store beside this rice store, where I mainly get my household needs. And then right around the corner, there’s a Babi Mantou, where I can buy paos and my favorite milk yogurt drink. The immediate availability of my favorite food is a big plus, because at the old apartment, I usually just eat the rice meal available for heating in Family Mart.
Also, I can jog more freely here. Given that there’s less crowd here, just the sidewalks are fine as tracks for running. Sometimes, I even run on the road itself because there are rarely any cars in this neighborhood. It’s so, so, so much better than running in the shopping street Nanjing East Road. I feel like a dog off a leash when I’m sprinting on the roads here hahaha. Such a freeing feeling (wish my friends are with me).
We live in a loft-type unit. My colleagues (art director and cameraman) and I live on the second floor. My other colleague lives below with her parents and dog. It feels weird to live with your colleagues, but I’m getting used to it. The unit’s really nice anyway, so I don’t have anything to complain about (except for this hard-ass mattress I’m sitting on right now).
The room I have is already too luxurious for my expectations. I have a TV in my own room for fuck’s sake, haha. And a giant-ass cabinet. It’s so nice, I feel like I don’t deserve it. BUT I also don’t want the smallest room, hahaha. The smallest “room” was supposed to be given to me, because my boss said he knows I don’t want to share rooms (because apparently this room and the other same sized room is going to be for sharing). But the smallest room isn’t even a room! I know it’s just a storage space, it doesn’t have anything that signifies it as a BEDroom. But my colleague took that room anyway because I think he’s traumatized with rooming with our art director, hahaha. He wants a space of his own thus he took that room, no matter how small it is. And so, I’m grateful. The TV is really useful to me since I have a small collection of movies and series with me. The first thing I watched on that TV was the last episode of Black Mirror season 3, made me want to watch everything again because the resolution was damn beautiful!
The view out the window though is not as gorgeous as the one I have on the previous apartment. The view I had before gave way to deep thoughts and free mind. But as I said, I can run freely here. You win some, you lose some.
Living The Indie Life
I’m really enjoying this independent life. I have control over everything that’s mine: my room, my money, my decisions, my daily life. I feel freer as ever. Yeah, I miss my people, but I’m learning so much new things from living alone in a different country. I’m so satisfied with the amount of control I have over my own life. There’s no higher mortal being to stop me from my plans, or my rules and life organization. I get to clean and do chores on my own. And I get to practice my Mandarin! It feels weird to realize that I’m using 4 different languages when talking to different people.
Every now and then, I discover something new. And it’s so liberating to know that I can know SO MUCH MORE. What would it feel like to experience living for a length of time on every country on Earth? What would it feel like to really know a place, and not just pass by it? Everything is so interesting and there’s so much in the world that I can study and know of. Thank You Lord I failed to kill myself when I was 20. This is what’s waiting for me beyond that wall of depression. I think I am at my highest point of curiosity in everything and I’m just thirsting for all the knowledge I can absorb. But none of those existential bullshit because I know my limit now. I can’t absolutely know every single thing so I’ll leave the thoughts of death and life after death on my heels. I know how to use my brain cells now.
I can’t believe my suffering just taught me how to know myself, use myself to the full extent, and be in control of my biological being. Because I’m just a group of atoms, of cells, of human parts and if you study yourself hard enough, you’ll know how to operate yourself.
Ramble, ramble. I’ll let myself leave.